Unity in marriage is often hindered because of different views about money matters. When two become one, total sharing of money is included unless agreed on beforehand. It is important to get this introduced, as finance is one of the most divisive things in marriage. As stewards and guardians of God’s money we are to be wise in the use of it.

EXAMPLES OF CONFLICT

The man thinks money is important and she doesn’t.
She may think you should save money, he doesn’t.
He looks for a job with good money but thinks it is in a bad area and wonders if he is in danger or the distance is too far’.
She thinks about giving generously but he advises caution and restraint.
One may be inclined to spend money on amusements, entertainment, recreation and sports but the other may not.
One wants to work as hard as they can while the other thinks home life is more important.
Conflict arises mainly because of selfishness or different backgrounds. The Holy Spirit is to affect all our affairs.

A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING.

A Biblical concept brings both partners together. We are to manage our house, possessions and money well and in a way that glorifies God.

1 It is God who gives us our wealth. Deut. 8:18

2 Riches come from God. 1 Chron. 29:11-12, Prov. 10:11.

3 ‘What have you that was not given to you.’? 1 Cor. 4:7.

4 The earth is the Lord’s and it’s fullness. Ps. 24:1.

5 A good name is better than riches. Prov. 22:1.

6 Material possessions must never take the place of God or our family. Lk. 12:20-21.

7 Seek God’s kingdom first; let Him add on the rest. Matt.6: 33.

8 Make it your ambition to work with your hands. 1 Tim. 4:11-12.

9 You must come to an agreement about credit and limits of spending,

management and discipline in spending. Prov. 23:4-5, 1 Tim. 6: 8-10. It isn’t wrong to be rich but wrong to put your trust in riches.

10 You must realize that your own nothing, but have the privilege of managing everything.

WARNINGS

There are no get rich quick systems.

Avoid excessive overtime. There are dangers in taking a second job. You my neglect your wife, your children and your spiritual life.

GIVING

Have a plan and superintend it. Pov. 27:23-24.

Teach wisdom and foresight in the use of money.

Live within your income and do not add up debts you cannot afford. Only get hire purchase if ablsolutely nescessary. Prov.6:1-3.

A certain amount of borrowing is OK, but remember the borrower is servant to the lender. Prov.22: 7, Matt. 21:1-3.Do not borrow or purchase any thing you do not intend paying back. Rom. 13:8.

HELPS

1. Work out how much you have coming in an dhow much needs to go out. You can’t spend what you do not have.

2 a) Give God His portion first.

b) Write down the following, house or rent payments.

c) House bills, electricity, phone, rates etc.

d) Food.

e) Clothing.

f) Furniture and appliances etc.

g) Transport costs, car payments, tax and insurance, upkeep.

h) Insurance and pensions.

i) Hospitality.

j) Recreation, sports, swimming hobbies.

k) Evenings or days out.

l) Savings

m) Gifts, birthdays, Christmas cards, and presents, marriage gifts etc.

Are their ways of saving on any of these items? Good second hand furniture, bulk buying of cards and food, tea coffee etc. etc. Can you wait for an item save up and pay cash and receive a discount? Do you have something you can sell you are not using?

Never be afraid to drop your living standard or move house if it is putting too much stress n you. Make sure there are no compulsive buying and excessive spending. Both partners should agree a spending limit and make sure you discuss it with your partner if you want to go over the limit. Angry accusations, silent treatment and a critical spirit can come from financial pressures. Lack of forgiveness will affect you relationship and affect your sex life. Ask yourself, ’Do I need it, and is it a priority?’ Financial problems have been high on the scale as a reason for divorce.

WHO HANDLES THE MONEY?

Discuss this before marriage. In the first few years should the husband handle the finances? A joint bankbook is a good idea with one chequebook at first until you have your finances more together. Each partner should have an equal amount of money to spend on themselves taking into account special needs for the job. A will is a good idea, particularly if you have death insurance, a home, a car or other expensive assets.